Issue #084

• Take a few deep breaths
  
• Show the person/people respect
  
• Ask them to show you respect
  
• Tell them your first name, ask for theirs and use it often
  
• Use a low, calm tone of voice
  
• Use non-inflammatory language
  
• Use a non-threatening body posture (sit down, give them space)
  
• Don’t make sudden movements
  
• Keep people from crowding around and talking over one another
  
• If you’re already sitting down and you want to get up, do so slowly
  
• Look them in the eye, but let them avoid eye contact if they want
  
• Avoid using substances that interfere with clear thinking
  
• Be honest and sincere
  
• Ask them what it is they want and how you can help
  
• Listen intently, and don’t talk until they’re through venting
  
• Without necessarily agreeing, let them know you understand their position
  
• Tell them what you think they are trying to tell you
  
• Tell them what you like about their position
  
• Validate and show an understanding of their situation
  
• Don’t debate the issue or confront their complaint directly, instead calmly communicate your reasons for your actions
  
• If you feel frustrated or you’re not getting anywhere, step back and let another person take over
  
• Clarify any possible misunderstandings
  
• Clearly tell them what you want
  
• Assure them that you want them to be treated fairly
  
• If the person is out of control, shift their attention away from sources of anger
  
• Find a common ground to build trust on
  
• Agree to disagree
  
• Be aware of other people’s boundaries
  
• State the obvious (I don’t want to fight)
  
• Leave them an honorable way out
  
• Don’t take yourself too seriously
  
• Get advice from someone you trust
  
• Walk away

Anti-Copyright. Borrow whatever you want. We did.

slingshot@tao.ca